


Help I’m Haunted - Meddlesome Ghost

by Stinastar



Series: Help I'm Haunted [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, Cuddling & Snuggling, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Geralt is still a Witcher, Getting Together, Haunting, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Trapped In A Closet, ghost - Freeform, it's friendly, meddling ghost, they're in the closet, yes I think it's funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29211888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stinastar/pseuds/Stinastar
Summary: This story follows my fic Help I'm Haunted, which I highly recommend you read first.Jaskier's apartment is haunted by a friendly meddlesome ghost, the boys get locked in a closet, banter, one or two swears, happy ending. Modern AU where Geralt is still a Witcher.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Help I'm Haunted [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144769
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	Help I’m Haunted - Meddlesome Ghost

At the end of the night Jaskier made Geralt a bed on the pullout couch before heading down the hall to his room.A few hours later he came shuffling down the hall again, wrapped in his duvet.

“Geralt, are you awake?” He grumbled. When he got no response he shuffled closer. “Geralt?” He shook his friend’s shoulder.

“Mmm? Whu?” Geralt mumbled.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Geralt scowled.

“Something’s gone wrong with the heating, it’s freezing,” Jaskier said.

“I’m a witcher, not your landlord. What do you want _me_ to do about it?” Geralt grumbled.

“I’m _cold_ , Geralt. Liable to… catch hypothermia.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t feel my toes, Geralt! This is serious. Grab your blanket and get in my bed.”

“Get… grab… what?”

“You heard me! I can’t call my landlord until tomorrow. I’ll freeze to death by then. And you are a walking furnace. You don’t want me to _die_ , do you Geralt?”

Geralt rolled his eyes and sighed, but pushed himself out of bed and grabbed the blanket.

“If you snore, I’m smothering you,” the witcher said. Jaskier sputtered and scoffed.

“If _I_ snore? Oh! Really? I seem to recall…” he continued as he followed his friend down the hall. Neither of them heard the rasping laugh behind them.

\- - -

Geralt woke slowly, mind fuzzy and disoriented. Someone was wrapped around him, and the mattress he was laying on was not the firm one he had at home. He blinked bleary eyes open to see Jaskier’s closet, clothes spilling out, and his ukulele and banjo hanging on the wall. He glanced down at the body sprawled across him. Jaskier had his face smushed into Geralt’s throat, snuffling lightly, and an arm and leg thrown across him so that he couldn’t move without disturbing the brunet.

“Hmm.”

The air was still chill around them, but it was warm under the blankets. Jaskier murmured in his sleep, nuzzling into his skin and hugging his side. Geralt turned his head slightly, breathing in his friend’s soft, contented scent.

“Mmm, G’ralt.”

Geralt froze.

“Mmm?”

“Hng! Tickles,” Jaskier giggled. Geralt relaxed, realizing his friend was still dreaming. The brunet squirmed against him, warm skin sliding against his. Geralt felt his cheeks heat and decided to stop things before they were both embarrassed.

“Jaskier!”

“Umph! Whu… Geralt?” Jaskier drew his face back to squint at his friend. “What…”

“You should call your landlord.”

“My…?” Jaskier blinked sleepily at him.

“About the heat.”

“The heat. Right.” Jaskier’s cheeks flushed and he quickly withdrew his limbs. “ _Sorry_. I… ehem… assume I didn’t _snore_ since I wasn’t smothered in my sleep.”

“Hmm.”

“Thanks for… keeping me warm.”

Geralt grunted in reply. That’s all it was, after all. Conserving heat. Never mind that he dreamed of wrapping himself around his friend, kissing the smooth skin of his shoulders… he shook himself, then lightly shoved Jaskier.

“Call them now so that we can plan around them coming for brunch and groceries.”

“Sure. Right.” Jaskier swung his legs out of bed and sat up, his hair sticking up at odd angles from his head. Geralt stared at the bare expanse of skin, distracted by the dimples on his friend’s lower back before catching himself and dragging a hand over his face. Jaskier grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head before scooping his phone off the bedside table and unplugging it. He tapped at the screen before lifting it to his ear, shuffling down the hall in his shirt and lipstick-kiss patterned boxer-briefs. Geralt groaned quietly to himself before launching himself from the bed and tugging on his dark long-sleeved shirt and jeans. When he got to the kitchen Jaskier was putting on a pot of coffee, phone tucked under his chin.

“No, I didn’t touch anything! … I don’t _know_ what happened, but it got bloody cold. No heat’s coming off… Monday?! What am I supposed to do until… Oh sure, well, I don’t need my toes, s’ok if they freeze off… Right, well, see that you do!” He tapped the screen on his phone and slapped it down on the counter. “The nerve! Didn’t want to pay extra to send someone on the weekend, wanted me to freeze my balls off until Monday!” Geralt grunted. “He said he’ll try to come take a look himself later today. Bloody well better. Hell I’m freezing, I need more clothes.” Jaskier headed back down the hall. Geralt folded the bedding on the pullout and turned it back into a couch, then went to pour their coffees. When Jaskier came back in jeans and a sweater he was sitting on the couch, holding a steaming mug. He gestured to the other set on the coffee table.

“Your cream and sugar with a dash of coffee,” Geralt smirked.

“Delightful, thank you.” Jaskier sat on the couch against the arm and put his feet against Geralt’s thigh.

“So, where are we thinking for brunch?”

\- - -

After brunch and grocery shopping they went back to Jaskier’s apartment, where his landlord met them a short time later. He took a look at the metal registers on the wall, frowning.

“Should be running” he muttered. “And you haven’t touched the shutoff?” He asked.

“Shutoff?”

The man scowled at Jaskier and went back towards the door.

“Hey, where are you…” Jaskier trailed off as the man opened the hall closet, sticking his head inside. A moment later he popped back out, red in the face.

“Is this funny to you?” The man demanded.

“Funny? What, are you mocking my outerwear?” Jaskier stepped forwards.

“You said you didn’t touch anything, and here the valve is shut off!”

“Valve? What _valve_?”

“The knob! Right here. What, you get your boyfriend to turn it, so you can say that _you_ didn’t touch it?”

“What? My…”

“I don’t have time for this. You have any other _problems_ , you solve them yourself.” The man stormed out. Jaskier stood watching him, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He spun around to face Geralt.

“Valve?! I didn’t even know there was a valve. Or anything in my closet other than coats, boots and an umbrella.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t think…” he trailed off. Geralt quirked a brow. “Naw. … Did you…?”

“What? Did I get up in the middle of the night to find the shutoff for your heat?”

Jaskier shrugged in bewilderment. Geralt snorted.

“No.”

“But then… how…” Jaskier furrowed his brow, then moved further back into the apartment. “I sure hope this isn’t how you repay me for letting you stay!” He called into the living space. Geralt huffed a laugh behind him.

“So. Still happy with your decision to not let me kill it?” He asked. Jaskier glared at him but didn’t respond.

\- - -

They sat at the table playing cards when Geralt jerked his head up, staring off into space. Jaskier gave him a questioning look. Geralt shook his head before turning back to the cards in his hand.

“Thought I heard something,” he muttered. A moment later he did it again.

“Are you trying to distract me because you’re losing?” Jaskier asked with a grin.

“No,” Geralt growled. He grabbed the dagger sheathed on his belt and made his way slowly down the hall, listening.

“Geralt? Come on, at least let me win first.”

“Shhh.”

Jaskier sighed, setting his cards down and following. Geralt made his way into Jaskier’s bedroom. There was a tapping, scratching sound.

“Oh! I hear that!” Jaskier exclaimed.

“Coming from the closet,” Geralt gestured.

“Well whatever it is, it better not be at my silk shirts!”

Geralt pushed his way past the clothes and into the closet.

“Oi! What are you doing with a sharp blade near my clothes! You know I have expensive taste. Geralt!”

Geralt waved him off.

“Stay back, Jaskier.”

“No! I don’t trust you in there!” Jaskier pressed up behind him. “I don’t see anything.”

“ _Jaskier_.”

Suddenly Jaskier felt like he was pushed by a strong gust of wind, stumbling into Geralt, and the closet door slammed shut behind him. Geralt stumbled forwards before catching himself.

“Jaskier, _what_ …”

“Um, Geralt, I think ghostie is up to no good” the brunet said nervously. Geralt sighed.

“This is ridiculous.” He sheathed his dagger and gripped Jaskier’s shoulder, shuffling them around in the crowded space until they’d swapped places. He pushed at the bi-fold door but it didn’t open. He leaned back and angled his shoulder at it, but Jaskier grabbed him before he could surge forwards.

“No! You’ll probably break it and that’ll be my damage deposit gone.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” Geralt growled.

“Um, ghostie?” Jaskier called out. “I thought we had a truce. If you would be so kind as to let us out of the closet…” he snickered. “Out of the closet,” he repeated, laughing.

“Sort yourselves out. Then I’ll open it,” the rasping voice responded.

“Sort ourselves… sort… what does _that_ mean?” Jaskier cried.

Geralt pounded on the closet door.

“Just let me bust it, if I can’t fix it we can replace it. And then I’m taking out this fucking nuisance.”

“What, no, Geralt! We are both poor. … What d’you figure it means?”

“It did call you a slob before, maybe it wants you to tidy your closet.”

“Rude! And it didn’t say sort your _clothes_ out, it said sort _yourselves_ out!”

“Whatever the fuck that means.”

“Right.”

“Sounds pretty similar… you sure?”

Jaskier scrunched his nose.

“Mmm, pretty sure,” Jaskier responded.

“YOUR SELVES,” came the rasping voice. “CLOTHES LATER. … ALSO, YOU FORGOT MY COFFEE THIS MORNING.”

“You can _shut off the heat_ , and _block the closet door_ , but you can’t pour a mug of coffee?!” Jaskier exclaimed.

“…there wasn’t any left,” the ghost replied.

“Well I’m sure you could make some,” Jaskier said petulantly. There was a sound somewhat akin to a garburator, then silence.

“Lovely. Well. This is going swimmingly,” Jaskier said.

“I was going to deal with it! But no. You wanted to make friends with a ghost. Is it all you dreamed of?” Geralt smirked and Jaskier glared back.

“Your other best friend is a _horse_ , don’t play high and mighty with me.”

Geralt’s eyebrows rose towards his hairline.

“You want to play this game?”

Jaskier scowled.

“Don’t think this is what it meant by sort ourselves out.” Jaskier grumbled.

“Well what _did_ it mean?!” Geralt demanded. Jaskier stared at him with a look he couldn’t quite parse. “We are standing in your closet, trapped behind a flimsy wooden door by a ghost. Jaskier, this is ridiculous.”

Jaskier chewed at his bottom lip and Geralt’s eyes were drawn down, wondering what it would feel like between his own teeth, before he snapped them back up and shook his head.

“Maybe it, um, maybe it thinks… we ought to be roommates?” Jaskier suggested. Geralt scoffed.

“What, here? If we lived together in this shithole, breathing down each-other’s necks, we’d kill each-other within a day.”

“Oi!”

“What? You know I’m right.”

“This _shithole_ is my home,” Jaskier said indignantly.

“Why did you move, Jask?” Geralt asked in a voice that was almost a whine.

“Because…”

“I know the rent is cheaper, but is it worth it? This place is _ancient_ , and _haunted_ , and _twenty bloody minutes_ from mine!”

Jaskier’s lips quirked.

“Miss me, do you?”

“What? _No_. I just… it’s inconvenient. When you need me to come hunt a ghost, or whatever. Which was a waste of my time, since you wouldn’t let me get rid of it, and now it has us stuck in your claustrophobic closet, because you won’t let me…”

“Yes yes, alright, all my fault, I know, I’m your favourite scapegoat.”

“Scapegoat?! How is this _not_ your fault?!”

“Well I didn’t foresee this, did I, Geralt? I’m not psychic. It seemed agreeable!”

Geralt groaned.

“You don’t need to be _psychic_ to know that a ghost is bad news.”

“Well excuse _me_ for thinking it deserved a chance!”

“You give _everyone_ a chance, Jaskier! That’s your problem!”

“Oh, I have a _problem_ now? I gave _you_ a chance, didn’t I? Was that a problem, too? Should’ve just left you to your own devices. Still be moping over Yennefer and picking up her rare booty calls instead of stuck here in my closet.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? That sounds better, does it? No annoying, needy friend bothering you all the time, and a good fuck twice a year. You know what, that’s fine. It’s great. Good to know how you truly feel.”

Geralt sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“Jaskier.”

“No, it is! Think of all the time we’ve wasted together. Should’ve said something earlier!” Jaskier’s eyes were shining. “You know what, go ahead. Break the door. Wouldn’t want you to have to suffer in my company any more.”

“Jaskier, I meant…” Geralt started, but Jaskier interrupted him.

“Yes, _pray tell_ , what _did_ you mean?”

“I’m trying to _tell you_ ,” Geralt ground out. Jaskier gestured grandly for Geralt to continue. A muscle in Geralt’s jaw twitched. “You think my thing with Yen was bad? You fall into bed with anyone who catches your eye and is willing!”

“Oh! Oh! _Well_ , I’m so glad you cleared _that_ up.”

“You’re so busy chasing tail that you don’t notice what’s right in front of you!”

“I beg your pardon?!” Jaskier demanded.

“We go to a party together and you’re just _gone_.”

“Well if I stick around _you_ no-one will even _look_ at me!”

“ _I_ look at you!”

“You! … you… what?”

“I look at you,” Geralt murmured, looking down. “Been looking at you for years.”

“You’ve been… Geralt, I’m sorry, I must be…”

“It’s fine. Never mind. I never meant to say anything,” Geralt growled. “When we get out of here…”

“No, I _will_ mind,” Jaskier placed a hand on Geralt’s arm gently. “Geralt, are you saying…”

“It’s fine, Jaskier! I got the message long ago. You go home with anyone who catches your interest, so if you… if I…”

“But _you_ never…”

“You used to flirt with me, I thought, but after Yen, you didn’t, so I figured that was it, I missed my chance… if I ever had one…”

Jaskier worked his jaw and blinked rapidly.

“Because I thought _you_ didn’t… weren’t…” Jaskier let out a wet laugh. “Can I… Geralt, can I kiss you?” He asked, barely above a whisper. Geralt nodded, and they closed the small gap between them. Geralt’s hands rested tentatively on Jaskier’s hips and the brunet slid a hand along the witcher’s jaw to cup his face and leaned in until their lips met. Geralt gasped softly and Jaskier pressed closer, deepening the kiss. The closet door opened behind them, but neither of them noticed. Jaskier pulled back by an inch to catch his breath and rested his forehead on his friend’s.

“So, just, for clarity, is this, um, are we, you know, scratching an itch, or…” Jaskier said, trailing off.

“I don’t want to be just one of your one-night stands,” Geralt muttered.

The brunet let out a soft chuckle.

“Oh love, you could never be _just_ _anything_ to me,” Jaskier assured him.

“Hmm. Good.” Geralt nipped at Jaskier’s bottom lip, earning a groan. He tightened his grip on the other man’s hips and pulled him in closer.

“What _do_ you want, love?”

“I want _you_.”

“Mmm, you have me.” Jaskier murmured in his ear, then started trailing feather-light kisses down his throat. Geralt’s breath caught in his throat. “What else?”

“I want… your skin on my skin,” Geralt rasped out, and Jaskier groaned loudly and rolled his hips into the witcher’s. “Want to wake up with you on the weekend.” Jaskier whined and buried his face in the crook of Geralt’s neck. “Want to be yours,” he whispered. Jaskier breathed in sharply and pulled back to look into golden eyes.

“I _love you_ ,” he declared, “and you will be the death of me.” He tangled his fingers into long white hair and pulled Geralt forward, mashing their lips together like he was intent on devouringthe other man. When they paused again to breathe Geralt murmured against his lips.

“I hope not. Rather like having you alive.”

“Mmm. And have me you will.” Jaskier started pushing him towards the door. “Any way you want me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments brighten my day 🌈💖  
> Check out my profile for more Witcher fics!  
> Find me on tumblr under stinawrites & stinastar


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